I think that when the typical person thinks about a university student you instantly think about heavy drinkers, smokers and people who love to party. Or there are those who cram for exams and pull all-nighters to finish assignments. The latter idea (leaving assignments until last minute) makes me instantly feel anxious.
For some reason I have always never not been able to think about deadlines and that is not just in university but throughout all of my time in education. When a deadline is set it is like my mind is constantly working overdrive and the only way to make myself feel better about it, is to finish and complete the task.
I find myself comparing this to other people that I know. One person in particular comes to mind, who is the complete opposite. I will not mention who, as I do not want to throw them under the bus, but they have a completely different attitude to work than me and this is both a good and a bad thing. Let’s call this person John.
John is able to sit knowing he has an essay due in a week and not even think about starting it until the night before it is due. I find myself reminding him that he has an essay due because the fact that he has not started it stresses me out. This is quite amusing because it has nothing to do with me, at all. I guess the positive thing is that he obviously does not feel stressed about the situation, or if he does, he is really good at hiding it!
My process of thought is the complete opposite. I sit thinking about how I am going to complete it and stress myself out to the point that I start the assignment sometimes months before the due date.
Say for example, I was given a big group project to complete, like a presentation. I do enjoy working with other people, but I find that if they are not like me and just leave it until the last minute, I would just rather work on my own and do the whole task for them.
This is both a positive and a negative. On one hand, I get everything complete on time and I stop myself feeling panicked, but the other side leaves me with very little time to just chill out. Even completing this blog makes me feel stressed, as I just want it to be right.
I never have considered myself as someone who suffered with anxiety or stress. But maybe I do, because it does not always have to be because of a particular thing happening in your life. Sometimes it is self-inflicting, and you can get yourself worked up about stuff, that in the grand scheme of things is not life changing.
“If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes worrying about it”. I think I need to take this advice and try and let myself just chill sometimes and not completely panic.
I accept all of this makes me sound like a bit of a control freak, but that is just me and I do not think that will change.
I wrote this just to get it out there, as there may be others who feel this way too!